Have you been trapped with the same few people for weeks now? Run out of different ways to tell them to clean their dishes or put away their laundry? Maybe you are just bored and looking for an argument. Whatever your reasoning for reading this article, don’t worry, because good old Will has got your back. Shakespeare may be known for his beautiful use of language and incredible storytelling, but his plays were the light entertainment of the day and nowhere is that more obvious than his colourful insults. So next time you are looking to pick a fight reach for these instead of your usual go-to's.

1. “I do desire we may be strangers”

-As you like it

This is a personal favourite of mine, it always takes a second for them to get it but as soon as they do it cuts to the core!

2. “How low am I, thou painted Maypole”

-A Midsummers Night’s Dream

Got that friend who is just so much taller than you and is always resting things on your head? Whip out this absolute beauty from the argument of Helena and Hermia from the classic comedy.

3. “Thou art a boil, a plague sore, an embossed carbuncle”

-King Lear

Why call someone ugly when you could compare them to the literal plague?! Use the whole thing for that Shakespearean flair or just pick out the insults and throw them into a modern slanging match to really confuse your opponent

4. “Peace, ye fat guts”

-Henry IV part I

Sometimes it’s the simple ones that get you and even Shakespeare wasn’t immune. What’s great about this one is after you shout it absolutely no-one is expecting you to cite it to Shakespeare

5. “If thou wilt needs marry, marry a fool; for wise men know well enough what monsters you make of them.”

-Hamlet

I mean Will, that’s just cruel... I love it!

6. “More of your conversation would infect my brain.”

-Coriolanus

I have a real soft spot for the ones that could slip so easily into modern conversation and this is definitely one of those

7. “Scratching could not make worse a face as yours"

-Much ado about nothing

This is one of those where it takes a second to even realise you have been insulted and my god is it worth it when the look of realisation comes across their face

8. “You starvelling, you eel-skin, you dried neat’s-tongue, you bull’s-pizzle, you stock-fish–O for breath to utter what is like thee!-you tailor’s-yard, you sheath, you bow-case, you vile standing tuck!”

-Henry IV

This one is a challenge to learn but as soon as you’ve perfected it you will take any opportunity to show off your new skill. Also ‘You tailor’s yard’ is such an oddly specific but brilliant insult

9. “Villain, I have done thy mother”

-Titus Andronicus

Yep, it’s true, Shakespeare invented yo’ momma jokes

10. “Thou damned and luxurious mountain goat.”

-Henry V

I’m going to be honest here and admit I don’t know why this is an insult, but isn’t it fun to say!